He's Just Not That Into You

On my plane ride back from Tampa over spring break, I read the controversial best-selling novel turned movie (which apparently does not do the book justice just btw!) He's Just Not That Into You. The novel's thesis-turned-title alone has been the equivalent to a tsunami with the female portion of the population. The bottom line that authors Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo present is a fairly simple, bordering on absurdly simple, declaration: that men are not complicated and there are no mixed messages. If he doesn't ask you out, call you soon after a date, or want to come inside with you after a date, then he's just not that into you. Simple, right? My fascination came in listening to the uproar of objections and the media frenzy that came against, and in support of in some cases, the novel's points as well as the frustration with such a simple explanation that it feels borderline offensive.
So read the following excerpt from the novel, as well as a professionals reaction to the psychological effects the novel's thesis presents and then react and respond to a couple of the questions posed!
XOXO, MK

Example straight from Chapter One:
"IT'S SO SIMPLE Imagine right now that I'm leaping up and down and shaking my fist at the sky. I'm on my knees pleading with you. I'm saying this in a loud voice: "Please, if you can trust one thing I say in this book, let it be this: When it comes to men, deal with us as we are, not how you'd like us to be." I know it's an infuriating concept -- that men like to chase and you have to let us chase you. I know. It's insulting. It's frustrating. It's unfortunately the truth. My belief is that if you have to be the aggressor, if you have to pursue, if you have to do the asking out, nine times out of ten, he's just not that into you. (And we want you to believe you're one of the nine, ladies!) I can't say it loud enough: You, the superfox reading this book, are worth asking out."

Now here is an excerpt from a psychologist who has analyzed this phenomena:

The Truth Shall Set You Free?

"Coming up with reasons that he might not have called that are not critical of you is a natural defense mechanism," says New York City psychoanalyst Gail Saltz, MD, author of Becoming Real: Defeating the Stories We Tell Ourselves That Hold Us Back.

Such defenses serve a positive and a negative function, she says. "They can keep us from being overwhelmed by negative emotions, but if you are always in denial and your head is in the sand, that's not useful either because it keeps you holding onto a relationship where there is none," she tells WebMD.

"Hearing the words 'he's not that into you' are painful because it's like 'what's wrong with me?'" she says. But, Saltz notes, it's not always that simple. "Sometimes there is something going on that is not about you," she says. "The possibilities are endless and this book is popular because usually we don't like to talk about the possibility that you are not the one."

Ok, so here's the points up for discussion:
-What is it about the phrase, "He's just not that into you" that resonates so deeply and does/doesn't connotate negatively to women?
- Do you agree or disagree with the point brought up in the novel excerpt, that even in our modern day society that if a woman pursues a man, chances are "he just won't be that into her"? Why or why not?
- Do you think that strong women, that in this case are more likely to "pursue", are encouraged and supported or degraded by our present-day media and social standards? Give an example from any source of media
-Any other comments or reactions that you want to mention or discuss.